Love is not to persevere,

 

It is not decorated in bruises and blisters

 

Cut lips and broken fingers

 

Punches and kicks have replaced hugs and kisses

 

Why should love be painful?

 

Ice packs on black eyes

 

Makeup to cover up scars

 

Constant state of walking on eggshells

 

Apologizing even when he is wrong?

 

 

I close my eyes and try to remember your smile,

 

Not the forced one you wear on Sundays at church

 

Or the one that is plastered on the family picture in the living room

 

Do you even remember the taste of happiness?

 

How it feels for laughter to spill from your lips?

 

When you look in the mirror,

 

Do you recognize yourself?

 

The shell of a woman that stares back at you

 

Devoid of life and love

 

Is this who you are meant to be?

 

 

Marriage has become a jail,

 

You still wear your ring proudly

 

But what about the shackles bound to your feet?

 

Celebrating anniversaries,

 

Yet they are a death sentence to you,

 

A reminder that you have trapped yourself in this hell

 

Refusing to leave because, “what will people say?”

 

 

Do you ever wonder what will happen,

 

When it is no longer a slap to your cheek

 

Or a punch to your face?

 

When it becomes a knife digging through your stomach,

 

Or a bullet straight to the head.

 

When the wound can not be covered under heaps of concealer?

 

Laying on the floor lifeless

 

What will happen then?

 

When a casket becomes your home?

When you will become a mere hashtag #JusticeFor…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lwandle sighed heavily and sat on her bed staring in disbelief. She picked it up once more and shook her head at the two visible lines. There had to be a mistake, she thought to herself as she stood up and made her way to the bathroom clutching another kit she hadn't used.

Five minutes later the result was still the same and it dawned on her that this was her fate. She clutched her tummy and thought about the supposed being growing inside her. She wasn't ready, not yet. Pacing around the room, she asked herself what exactly had happened because she had been on her safe days that time. Just then, her phone rang.

"Hello? Bestie, are you there?"

Lwandle took a deep breath as she tried to stop hot tears from blinding her eyes.

"Yes yes, I'm here Ndoni. I'm here" She said forcing herself to sound okay.

"Have you used the test yet? You don't sound okay"

"I'm... it’s positive bestie. Ndoni I'm pregnant", Lwandle said holding back tears.

"I'm on my way. Let me cut the call.  Fifteen minutes I'll be there" Ndoni said hurriedly

Lwandle placed the phone on the bed as she cried pitifully clutching her tummy. She couldn't believe it. Why was this happening to her?  Fifteen minutes later Ndoni was at the door. A disheveled Lwandle opened the door and sank into her arms trying to stifle her cries. Ndoni led her to the bed and she sat in the coach.

"So, it’s really happening?" Ndoni mumbled eyeing the pregnancy test kits on the bed.

"Yep, and I have no idea what I'm going to do"

"It's easy, keep it. I mean at least you know Ndumiso won't deny responsibility. Plus, the other day you were telling me that he wants a baby. He has money Lwandle, your future is secure" Ndoni said pointedly.

Lwandle raised her eyebrows, "Keep it?! I should keep it? Ndoniyamanzi are you listening to yourself huh? What will I do with a baby? Ndumiso won't deny it I know, he'll probably jump at the opportunity and wife me because it's what he's always wanted but what about me? What about what I want? I still have to get this degree and I'm still in my second year. I still have crowns to win and most pageants don't accommodate ladies with children must less pregnant ones. No, I have to take care of this. I have finals that are set for December and by then it'll be showing. I can't, no!" Lwandle said breaking down.

Ndoni stood up and hugged her shushing her.

"I know baby, I know. I understand that pageantry is your life but girl you have enough crowns as it is. How many? You have three national titles and two international ones. You have lived your dream. I know this pregnancy is unplanned but just keep it. What if it's your only chance to be a mum?

Lwandle shook her head, "No, I'm not keeping it. My parents will kill me. I can't even begin to think of what the people at church will say. I won't be able to stand the embarrassment. I've worked too hard to maintain my good girl reputation and I'm not going to allow a baby to ruin it, never"

Ndoni slowly let go of her.

"So, what are you going to do then?"

Lwandle whispered in Ndoni’s ear.

"But Lwa..."

"No buts babes. I can't afford a baby." Lwandle rubbed her arms as she paced around the room. "I know someone who might be able to help me. I should ring him up"

Lwandle reached for her phone and had a brief conversation.

"He said it's $300. I don't have that kind of money now. I'm likely to get it month-end from that fashion show gig. Plus, I can't use my savings either because my mum monitors those. Oh gosh! You recently paid for your driving lessons so you probably don't have that kind of money lying around. What am I going to do?!" Lwandle said frustrated

"I'm flat broke babes. There's a cousin of mine who was once in trouble. This other lady helped her. I heard she's cheap, around $50 I think. I know you can afford that. But you did not get this from" said Ndoni as she dialed her cousin’s number.

Lwandle sighed heavily and sat on her bed staring in disbelief. She picked it up once more and shook her head at the two visible lines. There had to be a mistake, she thought to herself as she stood up and made her way to the bathroom clutching another kit she hadn't used.

Five minutes later the result was still the same and it dawned on her that this was her fate. She clutched her tummy and thought about the supposed being growing inside her. She wasn't ready, not yet. Pacing around the room, she asked herself what exactly had happened because she had been on her safe days that time. Just then, her phone rang.

"Hello? Bestie, are you there?"

Lwandle took a deep breath as she tried to stop hot tears from blinding her eyes.

"Yes yes, I'm here Ndoni. I'm here" She said forcing herself to sound okay.

"Have you used the test yet? You don't sound okay"

"I'm... it’s positive bestie. Ndoni I'm pregnant", Lwandle said holding back tears.

"I'm on my way. Let me cut the call.  Fifteen minutes I'll be there" Ndoni said hurriedly

Lwandle placed the phone on the bed as she cried pitifully clutching her tummy. She couldn't believe it. Why was this happening to her?  Fifteen minutes later Ndoni was at the door. A disheveled Lwandle opened the door and sank into her arms trying to stifle her cries. Ndoni led her to the bed and she sat in the coach.

"So, it’s really happening?" Ndoni mumbled eyeing the pregnancy test kits on the bed.

"Yep, and I have no idea what I'm going to do"

"It's easy, keep it. I mean at least you know Ndumiso won't deny responsibility. Plus, the other day you were telling me that he wants a baby. He has money Lwandle, your future is secure" Ndoni said pointedly.

Lwandle raised her eyebrows, "Keep it?! I should keep it? Ndoniyamanzi are you listening to yourself huh? What will I do with a baby? Ndumiso won't deny it I know, he'll probably jump at the opportunity and wife me because it's what he's always wanted but what about me? What about what I want? I still have to get this degree and I'm still in my second year. I still have crowns to win and most pageants don't accommodate ladies with children must less pregnant ones. No, I have to take care of this. I have finals that are set for December and by then it'll be showing. I can't, no!" Lwandle said breaking down.

Ndoni stood up and hugged her shushing her.

"I know baby, I know. I understand that pageantry is your life but girl you have enough crowns as it is. How many? You have three national titles and two international ones. You have lived your dream. I know this pregnancy is unplanned but just keep it. What if it's your only chance to be a mum?

Lwandle shook her head, "No, I'm not keeping it. My parents will kill me. I can't even begin to think of what the people at church will say. I won't be able to stand the embarrassment. I've worked too hard to maintain my good girl reputation and I'm not going to allow a baby to ruin it, never"

Ndoni slowly let go of her.

"So, what are you going to do then?"

Lwandle whispered in Ndoni’s ear.

"But Lwa..."

"No buts babes. I can't afford a baby." Lwandle rubbed her arms as she paced around the room. "I know someone who might be able to help me. I should ring him up"

Lwandle reached for her phone and had a brief conversation.

"He said it's $300. I don't have that kind of money now. I'm likely to get it month-end from that fashion show gig. Plus, I can't use my savings either because my mum monitors those. Oh gosh! You recently paid for your driving lessons so you probably don't have that kind of money lying around. What am I going to do?!" Lwandle said frustrated

"I'm flat broke babes. There's a cousin of mine who was once in trouble. This other lady helped her. I heard she's cheap, around $50 I think. I know you can afford that. But you did not get this from" said Ndoni as she dialed her cousin’s number.

Lwandle sighed heavily and sat on her bed staring in disbelief. She picked it up once more and shook her head at the two visible lines. There had to be a mistake, she thought to herself as she stood up and made her way to the bathroom clutching another kit she hadn't used.

Five minutes later the result was still the same and it dawned on her that this was her fate. She clutched her tummy and thought about the supposed being growing inside her. She wasn't ready, not yet. Pacing around the room, she asked herself what exactly had happened because she had been on her safe days that time. Just then, her phone rang.

"Hello? Bestie, are you there?"

Lwandle took a deep breath as she tried to stop hot tears from blinding her eyes.

"Yes yes, I'm here Ndoni. I'm here" She said forcing herself to sound okay.

"Have you used the test yet? You don't sound okay"

"I'm... it’s positive bestie. Ndoni I'm pregnant", Lwandle said holding back tears.

"I'm on my way. Let me cut the call.  Fifteen minutes I'll be there" Ndoni said hurriedly

Lwandle placed the phone on the bed as she cried pitifully clutching her tummy. She couldn't believe it. Why was this happening to her?  Fifteen minutes later Ndoni was at the door. A disheveled Lwandle opened the door and sank into her arms trying to stifle her cries. Ndoni led her to the bed and she sat in the coach.

"So, it’s really happening?" Ndoni mumbled eyeing the pregnancy test kits on the bed.

"Yep, and I have no idea what I'm going to do"

"It's easy, keep it. I mean at least you know Ndumiso won't deny responsibility. Plus, the other day you were telling me that he wants a baby. He has money Lwandle, your future is secure" Ndoni said pointedly.

Lwandle raised her eyebrows, "Keep it?! I should keep it? Ndoniyamanzi are you listening to yourself huh? What will I do with a baby? Ndumiso won't deny it I know, he'll probably jump at the opportunity and wife me because it's what he's always wanted but what about me? What about what I want? I still have to get this degree and I'm still in my second year. I still have crowns to win and most pageants don't accommodate ladies with children must less pregnant ones. No, I have to take care of this. I have finals that are set for December and by then it'll be showing. I can't, no!" Lwandle said breaking down.

Ndoni stood up and hugged her shushing her.

"I know baby, I know. I understand that pageantry is your life but girl you have enough crowns as it is. How many? You have three national titles and two international ones. You have lived your dream. I know this pregnancy is unplanned but just keep it. What if it's your only chance to be a mum?

Lwandle shook her head, "No, I'm not keeping it. My parents will kill me. I can't even begin to think of what the people at church will say. I won't be able to stand the embarrassment. I've worked too hard to maintain my good girl reputation and I'm not going to allow a baby to ruin it, never"

Ndoni slowly let go of her.

"So, what are you going to do then?"

Lwandle whispered in Ndoni’s ear.

"But Lwa..."

"No buts babes. I can't afford a baby." Lwandle rubbed her arms as she paced around the room. "I know someone who might be able to help me. I should ring him up"

Lwandle reached for her phone and had a brief conversation.

"He said it's $300. I don't have that kind of money now. I'm likely to get it month-end from that fashion show gig. Plus, I can't use my savings either because my mum monitors those. Oh gosh! You recently paid for your driving lessons so you probably don't have that kind of money lying around. What am I going to do?!" Lwandle said frustrated

"I'm flat broke babes. There's a cousin of mine who was once in trouble. This other lady helped her. I heard she's cheap, around $50 I think. I know you can afford that. But you did not get this from" said Ndoni as she dialed her cousin’s number.

 

Just because she kept quiet

It does not mean she said yes!

And your refusal to hear her

Won't silence her plea or make it right

 

Your assault has become a cancer, mutating her very cells into poison

Almost immediately her confidence declines

The endless tears and unspoken words punch her from the inside

The purity of the bond sullied in the most violent of ways

Trust broken beyond any redemption

Her safe haven became her toxic hell

 

I heard her scream, I saw her cry but most of all I felt her pain

I felt the three finger marks bruising her left cheek and the four painted on her right

I felt the shame welling in her heart as the circle of patriarchs around her kept chanting 'silence is golden.'

Or at least he still pays the bills, bekezela

Adding salt to the wound, strangling the little life left in her with their victim blaming

What future do you expect when all you've done is suppress the present?

Let not your silence be a barrier to her justice.

The amendment of the legal age as to which one can consent to sexual relations has been met with mixed reactions. While others are jubilant, some are skeptical of it, deeming it does more harm than good.

While one would argue how developed countries have lower ages of consent and that government and society, at large seem to be invested in one’s personal life and choices instead of focusing on economic development, it is key to note the difference in the socio-economic backgrounds. One cannot solve a domestic problem using foreign solutions, context is thus pivotal in coming up with tailored solutions to combat prevalent problems in that area.

The detrimental "catch them young" mentality in most men has surged the instances of sexual exploitation of girls, wherein young girls have been coerced in one form or another by older men. Though true to note that a law prohibiting coercion by means of money, threats or whatsoever existed. A loophole provided by the age of consent meant that the perpetrator could walk away scot-free regardless of engaging in sexual relations with a minor. If she were 16, 17 she could consent therefore nullifying the crime. Pedophiles were swift in capitalizing on this, arguing the minors were old enough to consent by law. When in reality most of them would look back and regret, realizing that indeed they were taken advantage of. It also didn't make sense that one is still a minor and can consent to sexual relations but not marriage. The percentage of minors engaging with other minors compared to adult on minor, is relatively low due to socialization. Where children of the same age are taught to seek partners from different age groups based on gender (girls-older men, boys-younger females). Alignment definitely mitigates the prevalence in cases of minors being taken advantage of, especially the girl child due to the gendered nature of these offences.

Zimbabwe Gender Commission (ZGC) Chief Executive Virginia Muwanigwa said people should not view the judgment as a way to criminalize sex, but to protect underage girls from sexual perverts. This is a frantic effort to protect the girl child, after numbers surged during the pandemic era, with a lot of girls falling pregnant mostly by older men and dropping out of school.

Well, minors also engage with one another, what happens then? Are they then criminalized? All these being questions looming at the back of people's minds. It is fact that children are engaging in sexual activity among themselves at early ages. Such children require access to sexual and reproductive health services as an intervention. It is then key to go a step further, and invest time and necessary resources into dealing with cases involving minors. Getting them the necessary help, at a very precarious time. The question then becomes, in increasing the age of consent, are SRHR services withheld from a minor who needs them, or is the case treated appropriately with the health and safety of the minor being first priority, rather than dismissing the child, reiterating the " you shouldn't even be engaging" mantra. The goal at the end of the day being to protect the girl child as she beats most of the consequences of engaging in sexual activity. To close the tap on new HIV infections and death due to backyard illegal abortions, SRHR services should be administered within right, with a "save life, ask later" kind of mentality. Health care personnel should be equipped with the skill of administering aid without prejudice based on age, because if not then there is no net change, just static.

This clearly proves that there is still a long way to go in educating about sexual reproductive health rights to the general populace. Though a step in the right direction has been taken, there is still further to go. More importantly, it is our hope that this law will be implemented to fully protect children from sexual predators and the pandemic that is child marriage.

Period poverty is a term that only started popping up in these last few years, however, it has played a vital part in the oppression of girls and women for many years but was just never paid attention to due to the stigma that exists around the topic of menstruation as well as internalized misogyny.

The term period poverty refers to the lack of access to sanitary products due to financial constraints. In as much as the main cause of period poverty is financial instability there is a lot more that contributes to it such as the stigma I mentioned above as well as periods being seen as too much of a taboo to speak about in communities making it harder for those who don’t have the access to sanitary products to seek help

Menstruation has been painted out as unclean and embarrassing all around the world. Unbelievable myths were drawn up to control women under the guise of their menstrual cycle in both traditional, cultural and religious settings. These myths created surrounding menstruation have evidently hindered women and girls from living their normal lives and taking part in numerous activities during their cycle due to the fact that they are seen as impure during this time.

It is estimated that 60% of girls and women are affected by period poverty in Zimbabwe’s rural communities. Girls miss a substantial number of days of school a year which automatically puts them behind their male counterparts. Most of these girls use the most unhygienic alternatives such as using cloth, leaves and cow dung. These alternatives leave the young ladies vulnerable to infections and often their local clinics don’t have the capacity to treat these.

 

The girl child has had to fight due to the stigmatized biological function that she has no power over. UNESCO states that 1 in 10 girls in Southern Africa will miss school during their period due to lack of sanitary products and eventually drop out, immediately putting young women at a disadvantage and hindering them from getting an education to better their life which is perpetuating a cycle of women depending on men. This as well contributing to the higher numbers of men that hold senior positions in the work place compared to women.

The effects of period poverty are carried out even into the work setting of young women’s lives.  In an article senior reporter Evidence Chenjerai wrote “ARE MYTHS ABOUT MENSURATION PUSHING SOME WOMEN OUT OF ZIMBABWE’S MINING INDUSTRY” for the Global press journal, brought to light some of the myths about women’s periods that are being used to oppress women in the work place.  The article was very shocking seeing as a certain woman’s very own workers did not want her to visit while they were working as they claimed that If she came while she was on her period the gold they were mining would disappear. It is also widely believed that menstrual blood is used in witchcraft

Change is possible if we work together as a community to eradicate the stigma that lurks around the topic of menstruation. We can achieve this by having open conversations including every member of the society that will enable better understanding when it comes to the topic of periods. Having the boy child understand, from an early age, that periods are normal and not embarrassing at all. These talks aimed at educating the society will fix the social side of period poverty however the finical side needs more work. The prices of pads are through the sky in shops seeing as most brands are imported. I believe it’s time as a country that we become self-sufficient in the production of pads in order to make them affordable

“While a woman sheds the blood of life each moon at menstruation, men can only shed the blood of death through warfare” - KATHA POLLIT

To all the young ladies reading this article there’s nothing unclean or embarrassing about your cycle and never let the community convince you otherwise. Embrace your biological make up.

In celebration of the International Menstrual Health Day, we say let’s create a world where no woman or girl is held back because they menstruate by 2030

#ItsTimeForAction